… in shitty WordPress oriented fashion (Part One).
Celebrating the one year anniversary of my excursion into noise pop, I asked a former friend of mine to run a sit-down Q&A session with me. It was done over Zoom and transcribed by a third party. I figured that I could maybe shed more light on the motivations and accomplishments of this Bärkər thing – allow a peek behind the curtain, so to speak.
Sound interesting? Let’s read on.
Mayfly Radio – Various Artists – 2025, Mayfly Records
Q: Your latest production is ‘Mayfly Radio Volume One’, released March 7. How did you manage to convince anyone to work with you on this? I’m counting 14 or 15 independent musicians or personalities on this compilation. Going by your past work, that’s about 14 or 15 more than I’d think possible.
A: I’ve asked myself that question many times throughout the process.
Q: Were I you, I’d keep asking… [pause lasts 7 seconds]… Other than riding on coattails, what did you actually do on ‘Mayfly Radio’?
A: Listen, hold on a minute. Is there something going on here? There are some edges to these questions I wasn’t quite expecting when I asked you to do this.
Q: Coattails it is…
A: Well, actually I compiled and coordinated all of the material, I hammered them into place, I provided background soundscapes to all but one of the spoken word pieces provided me, I engineered the pseudo broadcast, I acted as the disc jockey throughout, and I recorded three originals for the closing segment.
Q: The segment with the least amount of listens. Isn’t that what you were telling me? Now this ‘DJ’ character you portray, Montgomery Van is it? Most radio personalities, or those pretending to be ones, seem to have actual personalities. Why don’t you?
A: Thank you for noticing. I worked rather hard at that. Oftentimes I would record a particular line or bit three or four times, then go back and piece together all of the most awkward deliveries. I wanted the character to come across as stilted and disjointed and socially unable.
Q: So this is autobiographical then.
Q: Moving on… Why?
A: Pardon?
Q: In the context of just about all music available to us, why does your ‘music’ suck?
A: …
Q: Why is your music so stripped down and primitive? I mean, what is this?
Living Ghosts – Bärkər & Subtlety – 2025, Mayfly Records
Q: A synth line with loopy side dressings sung by, in your own words, a ‘voice of an Angel’? Wasn’t this already done by Susan Boyle? You know, I was listening to a radio interview where they/them said not to even bother submitting music to stations or labels unless it/tw’it was perfectly pristine. This is the exact opposite!
A: Exactly.
Q: But… why?
A: Imagine spending the limited time we are allowed to chase the muse endlessly trying to lay down ‘The Perfect Track’, the ‘Perfect Guitar Solo’, the pitch perfected ‘Pristine Vocal’. Now imagine that 90% of your fellow musicians are attempting to do the exact same thing; producing the perfect UNIT Over… and Over… and Over again. Eventually, no matter the genre of music, everything begins to sound the same. THAT is the death of creativity.
Q: …
A: Exactly.
Textures – 2024, Mayfly Records
Q: Your most recent solo release was an EP called ‘Textures’, from this past Christmas Eve. Why does the majority of Bärkər material start off so difficult to listen to? Whether it is an album with the most unnatural openings, or individual songs that spend the first minute or so sounding confused as to where they want to go. Is this a stylized choice, or do you simply not know what you’re doing?
A: I have stated plenty of times that not only am I not a musician, I have inherent distrust towards anyone claiming themselves to be one. In my efforts to sculpt stuff I wish to listen to, I have learned how to bash out notes on a synthesizer or an equivalent, and to program rhythms – but anyone can do that. I consider myself a sound designer; I consider myself an artist (whatever that might mean). To answer the question, I prefer art that challenges. If the listener manages to meet the challenges of my openings, I consider that listener a kindred spirit (whatever that might mean).
Q: So you don’t know what you are doing. Got it.
Subversions – Bärkər & Arwr Neb – 2024, Mayfly Records
Q: You’ve collaborated with four different artists this past year; Feminoise, Subtlety, Ghost of Rucker, and Arwr Neb. Were all of these artists slumming it by working with you, or did you just sell them on snake oil?
A: Um, thanks. This is… I mean, what the fuck? I thought you wanted to do this? You know what? We’ll end this right here. Take care and fuck right off.
* Click*
Bravo, absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂loved it, so funny👏👏👏👏Don’t believe a word of what you say!!
What a fantastic, enjoyable, funny bit of satire! Love it!